Wednesday, April 14, 2010

You've heard of me... You don't know me

so i have an interview for the ICA on tuesday at 4, and everytime i think about tem i get upset, i get nervous, i get scared. and interview is supposed to be an oppurtunity to get to know the person being interviews, What if im too complex they cant get to know me in jsut 15 minutes... what if i cant sell myself for who i really am... what id they dont like me... in interviews the point is so peopel cna see how you carry yourself, how you present yourself, and how you interact in any day society...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I Just Want You To Know : Letters To My Kids On Love Faith and Family.




Although i just bought this book today, i ahve read some and it is by Kate Gosselin, and it consits of letters to all ehr 8 children, one long letter to each of them and one to jesus, nine letters in total... plus lots of pictures and stories, each letter is signed with Love Forever & Always no matter wgat, Mommy. so i was thinking ive never written a family member a letter... never felt the need. but maybe i should...

Dear Ann-Marie,
I know you are the one who goes to Princeton, and the smart one and theres so much i can learn from you, but theres alot you can learn from me also. I want to start my letter by saying that when you play hockey and skate with the puck i get the chills, and noone else has ever made that happen for me, i feel proud to say, yeah my sister is number 4, shes the fast one who probubly jsut scored. There are certian things about me you will never understand and i dont expect you to, but i love you for trying. THe day i told you i was gay, i had planned on getting a speech about how im really not and how i was beign sacreligous, when actually i got the exact opposite, i got a letter of support, love and acceptance. you explained to me how indeed my life would becoem more difficult from this point on, but you expressed that you knew i could handle it. You told that all the boys better watch out cause if they hurt me you'd personally kill them, and you were NOT kidding. I dont think i ever thanked you for being as nice as you were... and although we fight, i know later in life we will continue to be good friends, because right now i consider you a good friend. I know this sounds strange because i am younger than you,,, but i know you will find love, i want YOUR happiness and i know its coming, your a beautiful girl, with strong beliefs, and good morals, you have some of the nicest clothes ( preppy of course) and you got just swag about you thats unmatched. i cannot wait to meet the man of my dreams and introduce him to you and be able to tell you hes the one and have you love him as much as me, nd i cantwait to do the same for your future husband. if i never get the chance ro tell you this, i am proud of you, and i live to make you proud. never change, i love you the way you are. thanks for always being there. Love forever and always no matter what - Patrick

Monday, April 12, 2010

Daily GAGA

Last Girl On Earth Tour








On August 8th 2010, i will be seeing Rihanna and Ke$ha in concert!!! i have never been more excited for something.

the more in love we became... the more dangerous we became for eachother


love can be dangerous, and you need to know where to draw the line. never should a boy EVER hit you. statistics say it takes a girl 9 beatings for her to leave. those are jsut numbers... i say you leave the first time. not because you dont love them anymore, but because u love yourself more, and because you dont trust them anymore, and you shouldnt. you need to get yourself away. it may seem hard, and i am in no position to say i understand what you are going to... but rihanna says you must look at your situation prom the third eprson and judge it, so as the third person i say a lover should never be someone you are afraid of. love should never be scarey, unless you are afraid to loose someone. you life should never be at risk in the arms iof a lover, get away from them, then help other get away from their abusive lover. Get away from then, the second they hit you run away. as fast as you can, go to a frend, relative, go somewhere, jsut get away. because love shouldnt be dangerous, love shouldnt be physically painful.

say you need me, then write it in a letter form....

many songs and things in modern life are about the well renowned "LOVE LETTER"
leona lewis wrote a song about it, theres one in dear john, theres mutliple in letters to juliet, theres always a mysterious love letter someone finds, and it changes their life. my point is that lvoe letters are a wonderful way to express what you want to get acrosss. ill write one as john from dear john... that he wrote right before he left.

Dear Savannah,
I don't know how to tell you this, but im so in love with you im scared. Scared that if you left me or couldnt be with me anymore, i couldnt make it alive because i wont be able to find anything as good as you. Scared that one day you will leave me because you realuize im not good enough for you, not even close. Scared that ill wake up in the morning, and me and you will ahve been jsut a dream. because thats what it is to me, it cant possibly true. i pinch myself all the time, because im afraid your too good to be true. i would rather be with you with no money or job, then be the richest man ever. i love you for you. and when i say love you, i LOVE you. i mean every word. there isnt a day i imagine our lfie together forever, a big house, green grass, kids, a dog, a white wrap around porch with a white fence and a smell of fresh flowers and homeade cooking. it was a 3 pm on a tuesday when i asked you out... it was 5 pm on a wednesday when you said yes... those hours in betweeen i spent writing letters suimilar to this, there wqas about 30, i jsut never got the guts to give them to you. i love the way you talk to me, and the way you act all cool, i love the way you dress and the way you buy me stuff. i love the way you smile with those perfect teeth and big blue eyes that i could stare into for hours and hours and still not be able to figure you out. thats my favorite thing about you... i cant figure yoiu out. ive been able to figure out everyone but you, you always keep me guessing, you always make me laugh, but your not that funny, your not that mysterious, you jsut do thigns to me i cant figure out, you make me want more, so uch more that it would take me a life time to sort out. if we ar4 destined to spend forever together... then i cant wait for forever to start. i hope to wake up to you next to me for the rest of my life, im so in love with you it hurts, but its pain thats deffinetly worth induring. I love you forever

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

i won't apologize for who i am

if you look at me, you see a tall, pale, blonde kid, with blue eyes, and an electric green marc jacobs bag. you see skinny jeans, and some sort of v-neck, plaid shirt, or tee. you see hair thats probubly combed way too much or waytoo little. its short but not shaved, clearly the person wanted to keep their bangs. keep looking and you see that it could be decemeber or it could be august, i'm probubly wearing a scarf... and sporting bracelets all up my arm( two of which bracelets are rainbows for my pride in who i am) if you look even closer on my left wrist is a peacxe sign, a peace sign that stands for the internal peace i am at with myself, it stands for the peace i plan on exhibiting all day, it shoes the desperate cries i have that the entire world will jsut be at peace, no more hate or war or mistreatment. look at my feet, flip flops or ugg slippers.
my point is all of these little things help define me. and without these little things, IM not ME.

la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la



having eveerything be good in your life jsut makes you want to sing, its a rare feeling, so when it happens, jsut be happy and nice and just smile. at the moment everything is right in my world. im at peace with myself and everyone else. i am 100% free from sadness or heartbreak ebcause i promised myself i will enjoy my april; break so im starting that now.

Monday, April 5, 2010

the most powerful words ive ever heard.



today was just like any other. but when i came to work, less then ready for 3 ours of paper or platic, debit or credit, want the receipt in the bag, did you find everything you were looking for? about an hour into the madness, i saw waiting in my line was a woman, dressed in a blue bleached t-shirt sporting the hollister seagull, khakhi shorts, and a Pink( the singer)- esque hairdo. and as she came closer i could tell she wasn't straight. she was a lesbian... and if her rainbow bracelet, and her bracelet , i see them ebverywhere they say i <3 boobies for breast cancer i think... i knew she was a lesbian but im not gunna be like sooo were kinda in the same boat. i finally knew for 100% sure when a long haired blong woman lauren conrad esque person came up and kissed her on the cheek. it was gay PDA. so i KNEW. i continued to ring through their groceries, soy everything, gluten free everything, organic, and finally as i was bagging, the most peculiar question was asked... " have you ever been to providence town? because the boys there would eat you up. and i got instantly embaraasssed, and told her i was too self conscious to really pu tmysaelf out there to date, and she said your beasitufl and and i was like no. and she said you could be the ugliest person ever, ( whihc your not your actuallyreally cute) or you could be the hottest, but when your gay, your beautiful, because being gay means homosexual but it also means happy and by deffinition you like men, and make people happy. you ARE beautyiful.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Can't figure out how you stole my heart



i'm in love with you, and you don't feel the same
i get upset and sad, with every studder of your name
im not beign pathetic, im being real.
you couldnt possibly understand how i feel.
goodbye to you, my unknown lover
in my heartm your face shall hover.

I'm not the type to get upset and cry, 'cause I never leave my heart open



theres certain things you cry for and certain things you dont.

don't you ever cry as a way to win someone back, if it takes tears to make them want you again, then they never really wanted you.
dont ever cry for someone who doesnt even know you exist, thats jsut feeling bad for yourself, go make him notice you.
dont ever cry your eyes out for someone who hurt you, they dont deserve the tears.
dont ever cry just because its what you should do.
dony cry when you break up with someone, its your fault.
dotn cry because you lost a game or didnt win something, its jsut a game, its not worth tears.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP4XQoyIqgs&NR=1 <-- cry - rihanna
cry when someone breaks your heart, not because your hopeless, but because it hurts to think the person you once trusted could do this to you.
cry when someone you love dies, or even if you dont love them, cry for them because you will never see them again
cry because you have so many emotions, you need to release the pain.
cry because you have no other choice, because smiling is too hard to do.
cry with joy when something overwhelms you so much with happiness, smiling is too little, so you cry.
cry when you laugh
cry whenever you need to, don't hold back


the best type of crying is on the bathroom flooor, because it usually ends up you getting up and realizing how unnessacary those tears were, but when you think of it, if you hadnt cried them then youd still be an emotional wreck imprisioned in his/her own sadness. set yourself free.... cry.

Chelsea Chelsea BANG BANG




wanna read a good book but still laugh? read chelsea chelsea band bang, its absolutely hysterical. hahahah chapter one is about her coslopus, chapter 2 is about fat black people, etc etc. its absolutely comedy. theres nothign chelsea wont say! shes a big friend of the gays too! she has no problem making dirty humor towards the gays, but at the end of the day i know shes a really big supporter. i love you chelsea handler.

i see forgiveness... i see the truth, you love me for who i am




if you've ever been in love you know how it feels, you feeel like rain nor snow could stop your love, horses can't pull a crate filled with all your love because theres too much, you could make a list of 1 billion and 1 things you love about someone, your days seem increasingly happy, you want to make other people happy, you smile like you just won the lottery, your not ashamed to admit youve fallen so deep for someone, it could rain all day and you wouldnt mind as long as you can somehow see or talk to the person you love, your love makes you fearless, your love makes you uncertain and uneasy, but you like the feeling.

Random Hottie : Lucas Grabeel


Saturday, April 3, 2010

Check Out Fab's Parody

www.youtube.com/thefamousproduction

I tried and i tried to get you off my mind...

i wish i can bring back time.... i am not yet and will not be over you,,..

i miss your smile
your sweet eyes
your gentle laughter
and your warm touch
on my face every morning i wake up
i still hoped you're still on my side and kiss me
like you always do
i miss you so much babe...
i wish you're happy with him now...