this night is sparkling,

I think of how much my life has changed in the past year and i gotta shake my head, positively and negatively. Coming out of the closet is like saying i love you for the first time to that perfect someone. you have the ability to do it all along, but your just not quite ready until that perfect moment, when you just are. October 2, 2009, i came out as being a homosexual. October 2, 2009 i started to love myself. October 2, 2009 i found who i was, and improved him. theres certain moments in life when you need to find yourself, or "soul search." that happened for me this year... in big ways. i became a vegetarian exactly one year ago, i got piercings, tattoos, and different hair colors this past year, i smiled, laughed, fell in love, sang, got hurt, and picked myself back up again this past year. i got so drunk i couldnt remember my name, but i never forgot to drunk dial those certain people. i made new friends, and ditched the bitches in my life. i cried over things noone should ever cry over, over people, over fights, over things i was called, over love. I realized that the person i cannot seem to make happy is myself, and that i need to sort out my personal issues, and by personal and literally meann me and myself. in thiese past three hundred and sixty five days, i have come out to my parents, friends,siblings, mentors, peers, coworkers, whoever would listen and most importantly, myself. a topic that used to be soo scarey for me to discuss.... is noww nothing. i cant imagine my mind as a straight man... dealing with girlies on a personal level and their.... coslopus(s). I have discovered that when you know, you KNOW. if you KNOW a person is trouble... they are TROUBLE. you know that each time you say a fake i love you to a certain blonde whom you no longer talk too will come back to bite you. you understand that living is short, and you must start your craziness early. that no matter what happens, you must percervere.i realized that strength is something you must build up, and that i am a very emotionally strong person. i am the Brie Vandecamp of every friend circle, i will never show it when i am sad, unhappy, depressed, hurt. but you will know when i'm mad. i get mad over little things, so much it pains me. i learned this year that love is the realest emotion you can feel... and that for me, now, its my friends and family i love and that a boy is not what i need now. ive learned i look great in sequins and glitter, and i truly belong amonst the fabulous. my future is in fashion, and fashion is my future. if i dont look good, i have nothing. i realized bls is not nthe school for me, and blonde is NOT my natural hair color... i realized i would pbe nothign without my friends, theres too many too name, i realized nicki minaj saved my life and put the freak back into me. i am not normal, never have been, and don't wanna be. but i am also not weird. i turn heads when i walk, and i make people gossip. i wear whatever i want, but allways look good. i always do my hair, because for me, i do not "slum" it. i realized how much i respect my sister ann-marie for her intellegence and endurance. i respect my brother for the man he has become, he is an amazing person and will be very successful. and my sister siobhan, the heart and soul of my family, the girl with the big dreams, who will bno doubt reach every one. I have respect for people who dream big, because i do too. 365 days, new hair color, nose piercing, tattoo, new clothes, new friends, but im still me... the funny, kind, bitchy,fabulous gentleman i was raised to be :) CHEERS to 365 more :)