Sunday, March 28, 2010
Dear Ronnie, ( from the last song)
Dear Ronnie,
I don't even know how to start a letter like this, other than to say I'm sorry.
That's why i asked you to meet me at the cafe, and what i wanted to tell you later that night when i called. I can understand why you didn't come and why you didn't take my call. You're angry with me, you're disappointed in me, and in your heart, you believe i've run away. In your mind, i've abandoned you and i've abandoned the family.
I can't deny that things are going to be different, but i want you to know that if i were in your shoes, i'd probubly feel much the way you do. You have every right to be angry with me. You have ever right to be disappointed in me. I suppose i've earned the feelings you have, and it's not my intention to try to make excuses or cast any blame or try to convince you that you might understand it in time.
In all honesty, you might not, and that could hurt me more than you could ever imagine. You and Jonah have always meant so much to me, and i want you to understand that neither you nor Jonah were to blame for anything. Sometimes, for reasons that aren't always clear, marriages just don't work out. But remember this: i will always love you, and i will always love Jonah. I will always love your mother and she will alwyas have my respect. She is the giver of two if the greatest gift's i've ever received, and she's been a wonderful mother. In many ways, despite the sadness that i feel that your mother and i will no longer be together, i still believe it was a blessing to have been married to her for as long as i was.
I know this isn't much and it's certainly not enough to make you understand, but i want you to know that i still believe in the gift of love. I want you to believe in it, too. You deserve that in your life, for nothing is more fulfilling than love itself.
I hope that in your heartm you'll find some way to forgive me for leaving. It doesn't have to be now, or even soon. But i want you to know this: When you're finally ready, i'll be waiting with open arms on what will be the happiest day of my life.
I love you, Dad.
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